aliens: land on earth
us: gives them a brief overview
aliens: my mama says i gotta come home right now immediately
me to all my friends:
YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
me to myself:
you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours
Our sun is dying. Mankind faces extinction. Seven years ago the Icarus project sent a mission to restart the sun but that mission was lost before it reached the star. Sixteen months ago, I, Robert Capa, and a crew of seven left earth frozen in a solar winter. Our payload a stellar bomb with a mass equivalent to Manhattan Island. Our purpose to create a star within a star…Eight astronauts strapped to the back of a bomb. My bomb. Welcome to the Icarus Two.
it’s almost been 2 years since the most influential event of all time
Ikea Monkey is always in the back of my mind. Is he ok now? Is he happy with his monkey friends now? Does he miss the lady who put in him a coat? Oh, Ikea Monkey, I love you so.
Charts from OKCupid, showing how straight women and men rate each other based on ages. For women, the men they find most attractive are roughly their own age. For men, the women they find most attractive are roughly the same age - 20 to 23 - regardless of the age of the man. (538)
Good fucking Christ.